How to be a better conversationalist

Do you want to be a guy everyone loves ? You definitely want to be, But whenever you start talking they sound uninterested and bored and just don't want to listen to you anymore and leave the place as soon as possible. You feel so bad afterwords and become quite irritated and rude, Don't you ?

Nowadays conversations have become competition and instead of sharing thoughts you try to be better. Instead of understanding what they are saying , you wait for your turn to reply, don't you ?

Here is an example of conversations nowadays :

Raju : My family is planning to go to agra this summer.

Mohit : ohh , i visited agra last year. This year we are going to London. It's really gonna be awesome. I can't stop thinking about it. we have booked the flight also. I'm gonna (raju interrupted) 

Raju : yeah good , But you know What , I'm gonna join delhi's best cricket academy soon. It's expensive though but we will manage.

Mohit : So what , My cricket coach got the best coach award last year. He is the best coach of delhi.

So this is how people talk nowadays, 

Following are some types of people we face in our daily life :

1. Self centered or Egocentric

 This type of people like to talk about themselves. They talk about their favorite things , what did the do, what they want to do , what they are gonna and they can talk non stop for hours just about them.

  

2. Shy 

These types of people will listen everything you talk to them about , but they fail to express their opinion or share their thoughts and views.

3. Know-it-all people 

People who thinks that they know everything and start telling you '' yes, I have done it, I have been there , yeah I know it, so and so happens in this , And nothing is left to do for them, they have done everything. These types of people make You feel bored. Probably your female friends.

 4. Dull

These types of people are never interested in anything.They make your conversation dull and you will feel an empty conversation at the end. No matter how interesting or exciting thing it is, for them it's still a piece of sh*t. They won't say a single word until you talk about their favorite topic.

So If You are one of them then follow the following techniques to improve your communication skills and become a better conversationalist and even if you are not among them then still you can use following techniques to improve yourself .

1. Parroting : So What does Parroting exactly mean ??? , Basically you just have to repeat what the other person has just said , And ask the question . For example :

Raju : Buddy , it was so fun last night at india gate , i was with my crush their and literally, i enjoyed a lot.
Mohit : Wow , so you were with your crush at night , and at india gate , Woahhh , That's awesome, so when are you planning to go at night again ???

2. Body language cues : So , I'll divide it in 3 parts , following are  the tips

• Smile: Whenever you are talking to someone , just pass a smile , It builds trust But don't over do it , you will sound creepy. It should be a genuine smile , Practice smiling in mirror. And if you think you doesn't look good while smiling then you are wrong because nobody looks bad while smiling.  Smiling can effects someone's mood a lot.

                                            

• Eye Contact:  Eye contact is very much important for good conversation. Try to look into the eyes of the person this will show that You are confident and Everyone loves confident people.
  Don't over look into the eyes though . You will create an awkward moment and you will look desperate (even you are not though ). So Maintain good eye contact look somewhere else like the nose ,lips, eyebrow ,hair and you can look at down for a second too. 

                                               

• Open body language : While talking to someone Your body plays a really important role. Our communication is divided in 3 parts i.e. Visual communication is 58% , 38%  Vocal communication and 7% Verbal, Now you know what you speak has not much impact on others but what you don't has much more than what You say. From next time just try to say less , listen more and use your body language , nod head when you agree , use your hands. And by open body language i meant don't cross your arms or legs , Otherwise people will think that you are not interested.  

3. Match the Mood : While or before talking to anyone , first match with the mood of the other guy. Like, if they are excited then match with their tone of voice and their movements , Basically i mean mirror them without letting them know , if they have crossed their arms then cross yours as well . Their mind will find that thing common and immediately start liking you. Consider others as a song try to match with it , This way you will understand them well.
                                           
                                    

4. Listen more Speak Less : Don't wait for your turn to speak , listen more and try to understand what they want to say and what they actually mean . Listen more and use your body language cues and make a bond of trust. But be sure that you are genuinely interested otherwise , the conversation will make you bore. Try to find a common interest and then talk about it.

5. It's not a competition : When you are talking to someone , then don't make it competition because it's not competition , it's conversation . Don't try to show yourself better or low otherwise You will be a weakling or a competitor for them. Whenever they are talking something then just appraise them and they will be happy to talk to you.


So these are some tips, Practice it and apply these tips in your life and become a better conversationalist and win hearts of others. Comment below and let me know how you guys like it.